Biggest Breach Ever
Precision blogging gets the scoop:
You’re probably talking about this terrible security disaster already: the largest database leak ever. Arweena, a spokes-elf for Santa Claus, admitted a few hours ago that the database posted at WikiLeaks yesterday is indeed the comprehensive 2009 list of which kids have been naughty, and which were nice. The source of the leak is unclear. It may have come from a renegade reindeer, or it could be the work of a clever programmer in the Ukraine. Either way, it’s a terrible black eye for Santa. Arweena promised that in the future, access to this database would be restricted on a “need to know” basis. And you know who that means!
Let’s see if customers really change their behavior. I know which way I’m betting.
In spite of being nice all year, I’ve apparently been put on the naughty list (probably in reprisal for trying to start an elf union). Apparently, the same thing has happened to Cat Stevens (which is weird, since he’s Muslim, so shouldn’t be on either list) and Ted Kennedy. Supposedly there is a North Pole Behavioral Monitoree Redress Inquiry Program (NPBMRIP) someplace, but this appears to just be window dressing to appease civil rights organizations.