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Emergent Chaos Primary Endorsements

Well, Super Tuesday is here in the United States, and some millions of people will stand up and vote or caucus for the candidate of their choice. We here at Emergent Chaos have spent tremendous amounts of time watching the election, and we wanted to offer up some of the least-awaited endorsements in the bloggosphere.

As we’ve watched the chaos and excitement of the races, we’ve been struck by how little real analysis has been done, and wanted to contribute. And so we’re endorsing…everyone.

That’s right. Everyone. Ideally, everyone will win, and no one will lose today, and we’ll have chaos for weeks and months to come as we head into a pair of conventions where something beyond a coronation takes place.

If you’d like a more precise endorsement, we can provide that. For Democrats: if you live in an even numbered district, vote Clinton. If you live in an odd numbered district, vote Obama. Republicans, please divide your district number by three, and vote on remainders. (Properly, this is modulo arithmetic.) If your remainder is 1, please vote Paul. Remainder 2, Romney, and remainder 0, McCain. This math has been intelligently designed to exclude certain candidates. And if you get an error in either calculation, please vote Diebold.

Short form, we’re endorsing chaos, and hoping that more emerges in this election.

Image: Boingboing, courtesy our younger selves.

2 comments on "Emergent Chaos Primary Endorsements"

  • Dan Weber says:

    Of course, there are more odd-numbered districts that even-numbered districts, and more 3-modulo-1 districts than each of the others…
    But you probably knew that already. 😉

  • albatross says:

    I feel certain that each of these candidates for president, in his or her individual way, is capable of bringing about a great deal of chaos, both inside the US and throughout the whole world.

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